By: Mariam Elhamy
When you’re just out of a long relationship you start to wonder where things went wrong or why it ended the way it did. We’re about to help you find out a few reasons that are maybe why your relationship didn’t work and whether you should try to fix it.
It Started Really Fast
Easy come easy go. When relationships start overly exciting and everything goes really fast, they tend to blow down to nothing after a while. A strong relationship takes time so if yours ran on emotions instead of you taking it slow and staying rational, then maybe that’s why it ended as quickly as it started.
Stay or Go?
If you really like the person and you think that you can be a good fit, invest in some time getting to know them really well and take it slow. If you feel like you have totally different interests and can never get along anymore then let it be.
They Cheated, or You Did, Emotionally
You don’t have to physically cheat on someone to actually cheat on them. If you or your partner got close to someone else and started having an “emotional affair” with them then maybe that’s when you realized that you’re in the wrong relationship.
Stay or Go?
If you feel like you have a better connection with the other person and they understand you better then don’t string your partner along just because they’re your safety zone or you don’t want to hurt them. But if you feel like you just needed someone to listen to you and you found a way to work things out with your partner then work on strengthening the relationship and communicating more on how you feel.
If you’re the one being “emotionally cheated on” then talk to your partner, find out what they’re missing in their relationship and if they don’t give you a chance, just leave.
You Bottled Things Up
Letting the small things slide is okay but if you let go of too many things that it starts to take its toll on you and you get frustrated with the whole relationship, things get messy and you explode for no reason, maybe even end the relationship.
Stay or Go?
Try to talk to your partner about even the smallest things that upset you. Work on it together, if they fail to hear you out or keep doing things that drive you mad, consider leaving the relationship.
You Wanted it to Work so Bad That You Created a Fairytale in Your Head
We sometimes create our own idea of people and how they should be and we get fond of and attached to that idea and not the actual person. Maybe you were in love with the person in your head but the real person didn’t match up to it.
Stay or Go?
Try to get out of your head and create a list of pros and cons about the person you’re with. If the pros outweigh the cons and you see yourself making all your dreams happen with them then go ahead, if they’re not the person you always dreamed of being with (be realistic) then you may want to reconsider the relationship.
You Both Wanted Different Things
It’s different when you agree to disagree on impartial things and when you disagree on major life decisions. You like stability, growing steadily, a big house and a family but your partner wants to travel and not have a full-time job at a corporate firm. You might have known it from the beginning but still chose to go on.
Stay or Go?
If your dreams are just not the same then it will be really hard to make the relationship work. Don’t keep fighting for something that’s doomed from the start.
How to Get Over Someone and Move On
One of You Has Drastically Changed
Sometimes major life events change people and a couple can either grow together or apart. If you or your partner have experienced something that made them change drastically that you don’t even recognize them anymore, maybe that’s why things fell apart.
Stay or Go?
Ask yourself, do you accept that change? Does it affect you negatively? Does it align with your values and morals? If your answers to all these questions are a no then cut it off.
It Got Boring
When one partner is bored and unsatisfied it can really bring the relationship down. Once the honeymoon phase is over relationships might get routine or expected and if you didn’t find a way to keep things interesting it probably died.
Stay or Go?
If your partner makes you happy and you love them then try to keep the romance alive. Don’t settle for quiet nights in, take them out, buy them nice things and rekindle the passion. If you find that you’ve tried but you’d rather be alone than with them and they don’t bring out the fire in you anymore then it’s time to leave.
Someone Became too Controlling
You might have started to change too many things about your partner asking them to quit certain things and becoming bossy and controlling or they might have done it to you, so one of you had enough and ended it.
Stay or Go?
If you’re the one trying to change your partner and you feel like their bad habits are too much for you to handle then maybe you should look for what you want in someone else. But if you feel like you just want them to become a better person then help them do so without controlling or judging them too much that it becomes suffocating.
If you’re the one being controlled then try to talk to your partner and find out the things that make them uneasy and try to work on it together. If they become too controlling, impatient and unaccepting then just leave.
One of You Had Baggage That the Other Couldn’t Handle
Unresolved emotional baggage can really make or break a relationship. If your or your partner’s unresolved trauma or past experiences were affecting your relationship then that’s why things came to an end.
Stay or Go?
Whether you choose to stay and help your partner fight their demons or allow yourself to finally let someone help you heal from your own, it’s up to both of you to admit your fears and let the other person decide if they can handle it.
It Just Ended
Maybe there were no arguments or fights and no one to blame but some relationships end just like that and even though it’s sad, that’s the way life is. Be thankful for all the good memories and try to move on with your life.
Why Your Relationship Didn’t Work and Whether to Fight for It: Part 2
