Cloud Computing

What is ‘the Cloud’?

In the simplest terms, cloud computing means putting your documents, photos, music, and other data into ‘the cloud’, letting you access your files regardless of which computer or mobile device you’re using. It’s also a convenient way to back up and sync data to multiple devices. Think of the cloud as a disk drive that is owned by a company like Apple or Google, which stores all of your files in a remote location – typically at a data center. The cloud makes it possible to access your data from any computer with an Internet connection.

Google Drive:  This is a pure cloud computing service, with all the storage found online so it can work with the cloud apps: Google Docs, Google Sheets, and Google Slides. Drive is also available on more than just desktop computers; you can use it on tablets or on smartphones, and there are separate apps for Docs and Sheets, as well. In fact, most of Google’s services could be considered cloud computing: Gmail, Google Calendar, Google Maps, and so on.

Storage plan: Free 15GB storage allotment. Paid accounts start at $1.99 per month for 100GB, and you can get 1TB for $9.99 per month.

Available on:  Windows, Mac, Web, Chrome, Android, iOS

 

Apple iCloud:  Apple’s cloud service is primarily used for online storage, backup, and synchronization of your mail, contacts, calendar, photos, and more. All the data you need is available to you on your devices. Naturally, Apple won’t be outdone by rivals, so it offers cloud-based versions of its word processor (Pages), spreadsheet (Numbers), and presentations (Keynote) for use by any iCloud subscriber. iCloud is also the place iPhone users go to utilize the Find My iPhone feature that’s all important when the phone goes missing.

Storage plan: Free 5 GB Storage. Paid accounts start at $ 0.99 per month for 50 GB, and you can get 200 GB for $ 2.99 per month or 1 TB for $ 9.99 per month.

Available on: Windows, Mac, Web, Chrome, Android, iOS

* Some features vary depending on the platform

Other Cloud providers include Amazon, DropBox, Mega and more. The Cloud is the delivery of on-demand computing resources over the Internet on a pay-for-use basis. Each company has its own pricing plan and each company offers a few gigabytes for free. While a very secure company like Mega offers 50GB for fre

Do’s & Don’t’s of Wedding Buffets: a Little Guide by Crave Catering

To alleviate the hassle of food details and how a buffet should be organized at a wedding, we’ve decided to put a little something together to help you – because believe it or not, the buffet is one of the main elements of a wedding that always leaves quite an impression.

  • When it comes to the food, having all the fancy additions such as shrimp, salmon and cheese is NOT a must. You don’t need to add anything extra. Whatever makes you happy is what you should go with. So don’t stress over all these costly additives that are becoming more of a trend, rather than being a necessity.

 

  • If you don’t feel like having a Wedding Cake, it’s completely ok. More and more contemporary weddings are doing away with that costly tradition.

 

  • Pay a lot of attention to salads and desserts because they are colorful by nature. The more colorful your buffet is, the better and more attractive it will be for your guests. People are usually driven to more colorful items.

 

  • Serve all three main proteins, chicken, fish, and beef, to satisfy all tastes. Also, carbs are very important because they compliment any protein. You can have pasta, rice, potatoes in different shapes and forms; the options are endless.

 

  • Finally, one of the most important things to consider is your buffet display. Display is key whatever the size of the event. Try to be as creative as you can with the display because that’s what will draw guests to the food, and leave a lasting impression.

The Inside Story with Mohamed Mamdouh

By Shorouk Abbas & Francesca Sullivan

Mohamed Mamdouh is a familiar sight on both the big and small screen in Egypt, a character actor who has worked consistently since he emerged onto the cinema scene in the mid-nineties, learning his craft and acting his way through a long succession of supporting roles. With this year looking to be his busiest yet, Cairo East Magazine caught up with him to chat about his part in some of the year’s most talked-about productions.

In the ongoing career of actor Mohamed Mamdouh, best known for comedies such as the popular Bebo and Bashir, 2015 has turned out to be the year of the villain. In three major productions: Welad Rizk, Zarf Aswad and Shad Agzaa, Mamdouh has been given ample opportunity to shock audiences with his exploration of the dark side, portraying a succession of gripping characters in movies and TV serials that don’t shy from life’s rougher aspects. He also plays the brutish brother of singer Sherine Abdel Wahab in her period drama vehicle Tariqi.

In person, Mamdouh is burly and affable, with an easy-going sweetness quite at odds with the double dealing police investigator in Welad Rizk, scheming Yasin in Zarf Aswad, or the violent Mahmoud El Areqi in Shad Agzaa. To be sure, he has a substantial physical presence – but you can more easily imagine him as a body guard than an aggressor. That is until you see his performances. When, at a later point in the interview, he announces that his dream role would be to play the Hunchback of Notre Dame, it makes perfect sense – a complex, loyal and very human character misunderstood by dint of his physical appearance.

Meanwhile, as part of the preparation for the role of Areqi in Shad Agzaa he watched Youtube videos of real life criminals being arrested by the police.

“The director Hussein El Minabawy showed me this particular video in which an armed fugitive wouldn’t give up his weapons when confronted by the police, and instead began using them on himself. It inspired one of the on-screen scenes, and in fact my character was even wilder and more aggressive than the real life version.”

Along with critical acclaim, rich opportunities as an actor have come with each of these roles. In Zarf Aswad he works in the law office of a highly paid and sophisticated lawyer, played by Salah Abdullah, a miser who likes to test his employees by seeing how low they will stoop – he makes them clean his boots. At first Yasin appears to be a loyal and sympathetic person, making his betrayal later on all the more shocking. “Yasin is educated but not cultured,” Mamdouh explains. “Although he is not developed as a human being, he was an interesting personality to play on screen, opportunistic and without principles. Quite realistic in fact! For that reason it was a challenge I really enjoyed.”

He goes on to tell us, “Sherine’s brother Sayed in Tariqi is in a way simpler. He’s animalistic, an alcoholic gambler looking for sex and who will stop at nothing for his own ends – even cheating his own sister and mother out of money.”

Despite the unpleasant aspects of the character, Mamdouh cites this as his favourite recent role, and one that seems to have caught the popular imagination. “People have come up to me in the street and called me Sayed! The fact is he was actually an intricate and complex individual to play, and writer Tamer Habib worked on him as the series went on, developing his character more and more. Even though he was bad he was weak and eventually admitted his mistakes – in other words he had redeeming features.”

After playing a succession of bad guys in three hard-hitting crime dramas is he worried about type-casting? “Not at all,” he says. “It just so happened that these three parts came along all in one year – a coincidence. But I already had a track record in many other kinds of roles.”

A coincidence? The role in Welad Rizk was offered to him after Tarek El Arian saw him play a police investigator in Far’ Taw’eet, and Mahmoud admits, “in a way it was easy because I’d already done my research and homework on that movie. Of course in Welad Rizk there’s a twist: the police chief who is so intent on pursuing the criminal drug gang turns out to be corrupt and plans to hijack the drugs for himself.”

Although working with El Arian was a draw, Mamdouh stresses that, “It is always the script that will make me choose one movie over another. Even over the director, since two movies can have the same director but one might be better than another because of the quality of the script. In the end the director can only be as good as the material he has to work with.”

“If I have a guilty pleasure it’s the compulsive reading of scripts. I’ll stay up all night sometimes – and even forsake spending time with my fiancée to go to bed with a new script!”

To prepare for a role this is also his starting point; dissecting the dialogue scene by scene to analyse motive in the character.

Mohamed Mamdouh emerged onto the acting scene in the mid1990’s, and has had ample experience in many types of production, including theatre – something he still holds dear. “As recently as 2012, I graduated from the Merkaz El Abdaea theatre workshop, participating in a graduation project that involved producing and acting in the play Ahwa Sada by Khaled Galal. I love the stage but sadly its situation in Egypt is not good. Theatres are run down and the system is not supported by the government. Recently a wonderful production of Alf Leyla w’Leyla was staged almost single-handedly by Yehia El Fakharani, star of the Arabic version of King Lear by Shakespeare. But where is the support, and without such people prepared to put in the effort, where is the future?”

Mamdouh himself, one of the industry’s most reliable character actors, would like to experiment with more diverse roles, including, he says, playing a handicapped person. “Because it would be an interesting challenge.” He is also about to return to old genres. “I’ve just been offered a new movie featuring father and son Farouk and Ahmed El Fishawy. Directed by Ahmed Abdullah the film is called Zombie Goz Omi – and with a title like that, it’s definitely a comedy!”

 

Quick fire questions:

What’s your morning routine?

Well, I never wake up early in the morning, unless I’m filming! But when I do wake up, I call my Mum and Dad and the rest of my family, and I watch the news.

What’s your favourite food?

Molokheya

Your worst habit?

Laziness. I’m not very physically active and I really need to get to the gym more.

Your favourite movie?

The Godfather.

Favourite book?

Perfume by Patrick Suskind

Preferred music?

I love Rai.

Best holiday destination?

A quiet beach resort near Hurghada.

What can’t you live without?

My family.

 

Innovative Design,Smart Technology, Serene Spaces

A Kattameya Home Designed for Family Living

By Hilary Diack

Project by Hisham Ghorab

Photography by Hesham Labib

 

The brief was to create a unique contemporary dwelling with the highest quality materials within the existing shell of a large villa in leafy Kattameya. A challenge? Yes, but one that architect Hisham Ghorab and his Style Design team were happy to embrace. Already known for his distinctive approach and obsessive eye for detail, this was to become a labor of love that was two years in the making. The result? These stunning photos by photographer Hesham Labib capture the very essence of what the owner had dreamed of when he first set out to create a new home for his busy family.

Neutral tones and diverse materials throughout the home are complemented by the addition of time-aged silk and wool rugs and sheer curtains, bringing softness to the clean-lined, uncluttered decor. The ambience is calm, but never dull, as warm reds, ochre and orange tones in furnishings and artwork enliven the rooms, setting off the rich sand and gold shaded marble floors.

Surprisingly quirky pieces that give an insouciant touch when least excepted integrate well with the contemporary elegance of the design-led furniture.

To accommodate the owner’s passion for showing his contemporary art collection to its best advantage, spaces are open, with soft natural light feeding through in myriad levels throughout the day.

Hidden from view, but playing a paramount role in making this house a perfect living space, state-of-the-art technology supports every function. From climatic control, to multiple music and visual entertainment options, and ambient lighting to suit any mood and occasion, it has been seamlessly integrated into every space, every niche.

Both the owner and his adult children required personal space, something that responded to their appreciation of design, culture and aesthetics while offering a high level of functionality. En-suite bathrooms, easy access to a second private garden and Jacuzzi, a spacious lower-level dedicated to a top-of-the-line gym, spa and relaxation area all contribute to a lifestyle where everything flows, from day to night, and work to relaxation.

The owner’s eclectic interests come into play; a gourmet chef kitchen packed with top-of-the-range equipment sits comfortably next to an intimate dining space, a perfect set up for hosting creative menus and memorable dinner parties. Supplementing the main kitchen on the lower level, it provides a relaxed and less formal option for a host who loves to entertain.

Your November Stars

By Maeri Frances

Welcome November! After some months with blockbuster aspects can we look forward to something a little more mellow, in keeping with the season? Maybe. But there is no shortage of activity in the skies above, including that planet of inspiration and illusion, Neptune, going back into direct motion on the 18th of November. Time to ask, have we been chasing wild hopes, only to find them dashed against the rocks of reality? Or, have we learned to shake off our shackles and  follow our dreams? Don’t forget to check out your rising sign as well if you know it.

 

 

Our Birthday Sign

Scorpio

24 October –22 November

 

With Mercury entering your birth sign on the 2nd, it seems that you will be calling the shots in a lot of areas, especially in the way information is handled. Not a great one for letting too much information get around, without your say-so at least, it could be testing for those around you. Venus and Mars cosy up together in your 11th house of friendship on the 3rd, so unattached Scorpios could find a buddy becoming something more, romantically speaking. During the course of the month both planets will slide into Libra, your 12th house of ‘behind the scenes’ activities. ‘Nuff said!

Aries

21 March –20 April

With Mars, the ruling planet of your birth sign, working his way through your 6th house of work, responsibilities and health in the first few days you may see an upsurge in related issues. Watch out for digestive upsets, along with a busier schedule. Try to keep relations with colleagues as smooth as possible, criticism and impatience will just fray everyone’s tempers. On the upside, Venus and Mars will enter Libra a few days later, meaning that relationships with significant others get a sensual boost. Expect to be swept off your feet.

Taurus

21 April –21 May

Love matters are still to the fore during the first week. Venus and Mars are canoodling in your 5th house, so you may feel an urge to put a romantic situation onto a firmer footing. After that the emphasis flows into your area of work, the advice for Aries will apply for you too. Venus is your ruling planet, so it will give you the ability to smooth over any rough patches. It is also a time when you may feel like adding to your wardrobe, go for quality!

Gemini

 22 May –21 June

It may seem that life is nothing but domestic responsibilities, but hey, creative Gemini, you can find a way to inject some fun into the home. With Venus and Mars accenting both your 4th and 5th houses you can do some great home entertaining. Go for something a little over-the-top, with a romantic vibe. Mercury in your 6th house means that there is also plenty to keep you busy around the workplace as well. Children play an important role as well as the month progresses, you could be in the mood for throwing a party or two for younger family members. Best days for Gemini: 10th and 13th of November.

Cancer

22 June –22 July

Planetary energy is focused in your travel, home and child sectors. This could mean that your are on the go, with short trips, lots of communication by phone and emails, real estate and domestic matters and a need to pay attention to younger family members. There will be more light hearted moments, it’s not all hard work! Venus and Mars will add to a loving, affectionate atmosphere on the home front, so spend quality time with someone special. Travel plans that had been unclear or on hold may go forward after the 18th.

Leo

23 July –22 August

The earliest days of November could see you in an extravagant frame of mind. This could be followed up by increased communication and the possibility of a short trip or two.

By the end of the month you should be happy to spend some time at home, catching up on some reading or a movie or two. When Neptune goes direct in your 8th house information regarding a financial mystery may come to light. Your most auspicious days for following through on plans are the 6th and 11th of November, days to tread with more care are the 21st and 24th.

Virgo

23 August –23 September

Virgo  should have been enjoying the energy available from both Venus and Mars in their birth sign.  It is a time for romance, and working on your personal grooming and image by sprucing up. Throw out those old sweats and invest in something a bit more upbeat! When these two planets move into your financial zone as the month rolls on you will be in the mood for splashing some cash. Just make sure that you have it available, credit cards don’t count! Expect some news around the last days of the month.

Libra

24 September – 23 October

The month may start on a slow note, but then – fasten your seatbelts! After the 8th you will feel the loving influence of Venus, followed by a burst of Martian energy on the 12th November. Both planets will be lighting up your birth sign, giving you a sparkle and extra radiance. It may also increase your hedonistic streak, so go easy on the chocolate, and other pleasures of life. It’s a perfect time to experiment with a great haircut and a makeover if you feel your style has become a little ho-hum. Days to make the most of: 8th and 13th of November.Sagittarius

23 November –21 December

Do you feel something building up in your life? You could be right. There is plenty going on in your social calendar, so get into the mix , catch up with old friends and make some new ones. On the 20th Mercury will enter your birth sign, making you rather chatty, well, even more so than usual! By month’s end, when the Sun connects with Saturn, it will be time for assessing where you stand, in terms of responsibilities, commitments, challenges and restrictions, as well as solid gains made. Avoid domestic decisions around the 26th if possible.

Capricorn

22 December –20 January

Like it or not, you may be thrust into the limelight this month. You know what to do, you can strut your stuff with the best of them. Just with more style and panache! Even though there are some issues lurking in your life that either you are not willing to acknowledge, or expose to public scrutiny, you may have to confront them by month’s end. But before then you will have more than your fair share of social activity and progress in matters close to your heart, it’s not all gloom and doom!

Aquarius

21 January –19 February

Life can be complicated. And that is not what the average Aquarian wants. But, it seems that your humanitarian nature must respond to serious issues  concerning friends who really need your emotional support this month. So, lose your cool demeanour and open up that warm heart that you manage to keep hidden most of the time. Finances could also need attention, especially  around the 26th when you want to contribute to a cause you care about. The good news? Possibilities open up for travel plans.

Pisces

20 February –20 March

It’s not easy for a Pisces to say no to someone they care about. But at the end of the day, you need to take care of number one first. So, if someone tries to sweet-talk you or pull on your heartstrings, be practical. Your public profile and career come strongly into focus, you may have  a new job or promotion that is making demands on you. Grasp the opportunity, if you perform well the rewards will follow. Days to enjoy: 3rd and 6th for love and relaxation.

 

Top 6 instagram Accounts for Interior Designers

Interiors and furniture designer Jonathan Adler hardly needs an introduction. Not surprisingly, his Instagram feed is one of the best around. Follow along with Adler’s seriously fun life, while getting a peek inside his decor fuel.

@jonathanadler

 

A definite A-lister interior designer, Kelly Wearstler is beyond just interiors.

@michaelsmithinc

 

 

 

 

Michael S. Smith is one of the most renowned interior designers in the world, and with good reason.

@michaelsmithinc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You might recognize the name, as he hits the Top 100 Designers list from Architectural Digest.

@martynbullard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An interior designer, shop owner, best-selling author, and furniture designer, the LA-based Nathan Turner seems to do and have it all. His Instagram account is a great view into his boho

chic life.

 

@nturnerdesign

 

 

 

 

Sibella Court s Instagram feed, has plenty of jaw-dropping interior design inspirations.

@sibellacourt

The Best Websites for New Moms

By Hilary Diack

Bringing a new baby into the world is a big event in any woman’s life, and with so much to consider, the idea of coping with a new and precious family member can be daunting. Of course, mothers, mother’s-in-law, friends and colleagues will all proffer advice to the point a prospective mom can feel confused and full of trepidation. Cairo East Magazine has come up with some helpful online resources with sound practical tips from professionals to make things just that little bit easier.

Ana 7amel

Shaymaa El Gammal and Yasmien Shahine founded Ana 7amel in 2011 when they noticed a lack of local Egyptian resources online offering community feedback and sensible advice for expectant moms. Both well into their pregnancies at the time, they pooled their professional writing skills to create the Facebook page. Ana 7amel acts a central database of tips and information from all over the Internet, compounded by the founders in one go-to spot.

Ana 7amel provides readers and fans with articles, information, videos and tips, and also strives to be a proper maternity club and a community service. It gives benefits besides the content, like announcing classes, highlighting places offering discounts for mothers, sharing information about maternity related events and publishing products reviews. The page also has a group of doctors who answer fan questions in from a medical perspective.

Facebook: ana7amel

Website: www.ana7amel.net

Mother & Child

Founded by Rania Badr El Din, a proud mother of three whose passion is to improve the lives of families in Egypt by providing women with essential up-to-date information, free of charge. The website is packed with informative articles by professionals in the fields of medicine, nutrition and psychology and is an invaluable resource for both expectant and new mothers, as well as all family members. Along with a dedicated kid’s section, there are plenty of tips for homemakers, recipes and a useful directory covering everything a mom could need.

Facebook: MotherandChildMag

Website: www.mother-and-child.net

Hedeya

With a baby comes an endless list of things a mother will need. From the more obvious ones like bottles or diaper bags, to the more inconspicuous ones a mother might not know she needs right-off-the-bat. Your go-to source for all the items you could ever want for your baby is Hedeya. If a baby needs it, they have it!

Website: www.hedeya.com

Kids Avenues

Kids Avenues is  an online one-stop shop for wonderful stuff for babies, toddlers and older children. Perfect for busy moms, it delivers within 24 hours.

Facebook: Kidsavenues.eg

Website: www.kidsavenues.com

Mash Mama

Of course, no expectant mom can sail through her pregnancy without some super comfortable trendy outfits; it’s part of the experience. So here we go with one of the best places to shop, mashmamashop!

Facebook: mashmamashop

Mummy Chitchats

Right there for you on your mobile, the best news around for moms. All the information and blogs you could dream of, at your fingertips. It’s a free APP on iPhone, Android and Blackberry. It offers a set of highly valuable mummy kits that help you receive and share all the support you need with your fellow Mummy friends.

Website: www.mummychitchats.com

Granville St. Egypt Patisserie & Delicatessen Inspiring All-Natural Living

Sarah of Granville Street

Bite-sized Innovation

 

By Francesca Sullivan

 

 

In a small retail space tucked away off a leafy square in Dokki, a fascinating mixture of office and kitchen is home to an innovative culinary project devised by Sarah Khodeir, whose foodie posts on Instagram have been making mouths water now for some time. But what is her business all about? In person, Sarah is a fascinating mixture herself, tall and striking with a strong physical presence combined with a passion for her calling. A food consultant with big plans to open a retail outlet in Cairo for her all-natural recipes, she took time off to talk with Cairo West Magazine about what’s cooking…

 

CWM: Tell us about your background and the origin of your brand name?

 

SK: I was born to Egyptian parents but grew up in Vancouver, where my lifestyle has always been very influenced by a natural philosophy of living. Granville Street is a street in Vancouver famous for fine art galleries, theatre, music and a big culinary scene. It’s really the place where I became ‘me’. In my family everyone is an artist and a good cook! Although I studied architecture and design, food for me is a passion.

 

What inspired you to create your multi-faceted operation?

 

Every summer I would enjoy coming to Egypt, but I grew increasingly frustrated at the lack of options in the food and beverage industry and the non-availability of ‘natural’ products. I have always had a strong identity here, and following the 2011 revolution I felt inspired by events to come and resettle; I felt I could make a difference. I determined to research the market, find out what was really needed and what people could accept.

 

At first, it was a struggle being here, and I returned temporarily to Vancouver to study with Delores Custer (an internationally known food stylist and educator), training with her in recipe writing and food styling. Re-motivated and with a new energy, I came back to Cairo in 2013, but in the meantime I’d already begun to develop an Instagram following with my food pictures, and whenever I was here I’d do ‘sample recipe leaks’, sending them out to people who’d contacted me on Instagram, and getting their feedback. I’m a very visual person, and taking pictures of my recipes is something I’ve always done. Somehow the nature of the images seems to have appealed to people, and the Instagram account developed a big following. The food in my pictures is not stylized and polished as it is in most food photography. I like to capture ingredients as well as the natural mess created by cooking, and my pictures are usually taken with natural light.

 

I established the Granville Street name and began working as a food consultant in recipe development and styling. TBS (The Bakery Shop), Crave and Good Cals are examples of some of my clients, companies looking for new ideas and a more ‘real’ approach to food. Part of it is about fixing things: training staff, rearranging clients’ cooking processes, food budgeting and supplying a manual at the end of the consultancy period to enable them to continue on their own. I see this work as a bridging process before launching my own products.

 

What are your most popular recipe inventions?

 

I have developed new product ranges for clients that include sandwiches, salads and desserts, but some of my biggest successes have been in baking. For example our ‘Magda blondies’ (as opposed to ‘brownies’), Raspberry Peach Brulee galettes, and a new invention: dark chocolate gluten-free Earl Grey cookies, flavoured with Earl Grey tea – I like working with tea! In the New Year I’ll release a ‘dark chocolate rose bunt cake’. I like to combine ingredients that might not traditionally go together, in fact my very first recipe was a healthy cookie for kids, using fruit, carrots and sweet potato. I was disturbed by the diet I saw Egyptian kids being fed, full of additives and chemicals. I use natural ways of producing great colours, such as my beetroot and lime glaze on a vanilla doughnut.

 

Do you see an increasing awareness of organic and organic products among our community?

 

Definitely. Since 2013 I’ve noticed a huge jump, with people talking about fitness and trying out new, healthy food products, and there are more and more organic farms as well as farmers’ markets. With increasing awareness, we can push the changes further; it’s slow but it’s happening.

 

I feel that part of my mission is about capturing the culture of food and helping people become more connected with where that food comes from and how it is grown. Although in Egypt there is too low a priority placed on quality (tea and cigarettes somehow seem more important than nutrition!), on the other hand if you look at the fast food industry here there are some positives. Forget MacDonalds; if you buy a fried chicken sandwich on the street in Egypt it actually has a higher nutritional content than the stuff served in many Western fast food outlets.

 

What challenges did you face setting up your business?

 

There have been a lot of challenges, mainly stemming from the fact that, Egyptian or not, I’m an outsider. Conceptually, even my own family have had a hard time understanding exactly what I’m trying to do even though now they’ve seen my work in action, but they are still very supportive. Initially, I didn’t have enough help and it was hard to find the right team, especially being a woman in a very male dominated industry. Catering in a commercial kitchen is very tough job, and male chefs – especially in this culture – usually don’t like to take advice and direction from women! One of my idols is Julia Child; when I think of what she achieved as a woman in this field I am in awe of her.

 

What are your plans for the future?

 

My future plan is to open a retail outlet for my products and to launch my own range. I would also love to have a wider influence on peoples’ food habits, especially in schools and food preparation for children – the Egyptian Jamie Oliver!

 

Contact Details:

 

Tel:  01202255599 or 01002201990

 

https://www.facebook.com/granvillestegypt?pnref=lhc

 

 

http://instagram.com/granvillestegypt

 

 

 

Our Kids’ Biggest Problem is Us, the Parents

How Parents Transfer Negativity to Kids and How to Avoid that with Parenting Expert,  Noha Abu Sitta

Too often we get preoccupied with what is missing in our and our kids’ lives, and we stress ourselves trying to fill that gap to achieve perfection. We seek what could have happened instead of noticing what is actually happening. Consequently, our sentiments are manifested in negative remarks that we might be constantly conveying heedlessly. In doing so, we are subliminally discouraging ourselves and our kids: “No matter how hard I work to do this, it will never be good enough; so better leave it altogether and do nothing about it since I will probably be criticized for it anyway.”

Fixating on the negative

We usually focus on what our kids DON’T do, instead of what they actually DO, which discourages them from even trying to do anything else. When our kids say things like, “I’ve tidied up my room,” we come in and check and say, “but you didn’t put the toys back in their boxes,” or “you’ve messed up the cupboard instead.” Same goes with their school homework when they announce they’ve finished working on their English homework, we declare, “but you still have your spelling, Arabic and science left.” This “BUT” destroys the value of the achievement they’ve made and thus discourages them from making any more effort.

The main reason behind this is the very high expectations we set for our children, ignoring their own individual character make-up and capabilities. These expectations should be encouraging, yet instead they are typically destructive, intimidating or discouraging. It is healthy to have high expectations for our kids, but we need to be wary of how we convey these expectations. In the end, how we express these expectations is what essentially matters, regardless of whether these expectations are fulfilled or not.

Conditional love is no love at all

Expectations shouldn’t turn into standards or criteria for accepting our kids. Words like, “I’ll love you if you eat this,” or “you’ll make me happy if you brush your teeth,” and the like, gives a false message to our kids that they are ONLY loved and accepted by us parents if they perform certain activities. The long-term ramifications of conditional love are rebelliousness, stubbornness and/or passive-aggressive behavior. This causes a lot of anger, resentment and implants within our kids feelings of inadequacy. Children often express these feelings by not doing what is asked/expected of them, a type of behavior heightened during their teen years when the parental fear factor is no longer as impactful as it was in their childhood.

It is wise not to expect too much, too soon. It really helps when we read about what each age is capable of doing at that particular stage of development. It is absolutely unwise to under or over set expectations for our kids because both will have the same effect. We often forget that kids are born as a blank sheet that needs to be filled by us. We take things for granted and expect them to act perfectly and maturely while we are imperfect and often act immaturely. For example, we think every child should respect his/her parents, siblings and everyone in the world while we haven’t taken enough time to teach him what respect is through leading by example, and how to go about doing it! Do we ourselves show our kids respect by how we treat them? Or are we guilty of condescension and preaching?

How to love through recognition and appreciation

Patience is the key. We set a goal, then divide it into smaller goals and celebrate each step towards our big goal. Celebration in parenting means recognition and appreciation. If your goal is for your child to eat healthy, spot a healthy choice he has made this day and celebrate it instead of criticizing all his unhealthy choices and ignoring the healthy one.

If your goal is for your child to tidy up his toy room, aid him by: 

1- Providing his room with suitable boxes, cabinet or storage space that will help him sort out the toys.

2- Don’t buy too many toys that will clutter his room, which will turn any cleanup time — including yours– into a nightmare.

3- Coach him on how to tidy up his toys through giving simple steps such as, “How about when we finish playing with a toy we put it back in its place before we take the other one out so we don’t clutter and make it harder for ourselves to clean up?”.

With older kids, if the room is a mess, instead of giving them intimidating orders try these tactics:

1- Ask them nicely, “I’d really appreciate your help with cleaning up your toys while I make your bed”.

2- Or we give them choices like, “Would you like to make your bed and I do the toys or vice versa?”. If they refuse, you can ask non-intimidating and loving questions like, “Why do you think it is hard for you to tidy up the toys? What can we do about that to make it easier for you to do it?”.

They might tell you they are too many or there is no room for all of them so you can brainstorm about whether you should give away the ones he doesn’t need any more to charity or buy more storage options.

With younger kids we can frame cleanup time in the context of playtime. We can sing together Barney’s Cleanup song while we are tidying up or we can come-up with a sorting game, “ Who will clean up the teddies and who will clean up the blocks?” or “who will clean up the most red items?” and so on.

The space to learn and grow

Our kids need coaching, but more importantly, they need to feel that we see them as adequate. If we keep rescuing them and doing what they should do ourselves while criticizing them for not doing it, we are limiting our kids’ abilities while incapacitating them by placing high expectations on them at the same time.

Accept that your child might have his/her own way of interacting with the world; they don’t have to do everything exactly as you want it when you want it. Allow them to achieve the goals you have lovingly and compassionately set for them through their own set of skills. Children are so responsive to encouragement and appreciation. When we celebrate any tiny step they achieve towards the big goal, they feel encouraged to do more and we see more results.

Do not forget to celebrate yourself each step your child takes towards the goal because his success is also yours so give yourself a tap on the back too.

 

 

 

 

 

Noha Abu Sitta is a certified Health Coach for children up to 12 years old, by the Dr. William Sears Wellness Center. She is also a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator by Dr. Jane Nelson and Dr. Lynn Lott. Noha regularly conducts parenting, health and nutrition courses covering a variety of topics. She also makes regular appearances on TV programs to dispense her expert advice. Noha is available at City Clinic in Nada Compound, Sheikh Zayed for health and parenting coaching.